Emotions and immigration / expatriation

Over the past seven years, I lived in 6 countries. First, I immigrated temporary to Canada. Then, I started to work as an expatriate abroad for international humanitarian organizations.

These experiences were exciting and challenging. It was a continuous and deep process of learning. It helped me develop a strong sense of self.

I would like to share one of the things I learned from my Canadian experience when I was working as a Child and family Therapist in Toronto, offering services to the national and immigrant francophone community. Canada is a country of immigration. I was very impressed by their openness and interest in mental health.

The W-Curve Hypothesis Model Gullahorn and Gullahorn (1963). Thanks to this model, I had a better understanding of what foreigners may experience living abroad (me included).

I hope this will help you get some insights about your personal experience.

Initially designed from the experience of the international students living in USA, I found it very relevant to understand the emotional rollercoaster we can all experience when we live abroad. It describes 5 stages : Honeymoon, Cultural Shock, Initial Adjustment, Mental Isolation, Acceptance and integration. The duration of these 5 phases is different from one individual to another.

Honeymoon : You are super happy to be in the new country and super excited with this new experience. Your curiosity is stimulated. You feel energized to engage with people and learn about the culture. You may also experience some relief.

Culture Shock : You start to notice the differences and the challenges. You can experience some fatigue and frustration. It’s a phase of wonders and worries that manifests with irritability, sleeping disturbance, isolation, changes in eating habits, etc. People who are expressing themselves with a different language than their mother tongue can have a higher fatigue.

Initial Adjustment : You reach this stage when you notice that you manage to have friends, a community, some habits. Things are going easier. You find some comfort.

Mental Isolation : This happens when you go back home. You may realize that you have changed while nothing has changed there. Or you may realize that you have changed while many changes happened there and it’s difficult to adjust. Friends and family expect you to behave and react as before. It’s difficult to share your personal experiences with them.

Acceptance and Integration : This is when you find some balance. You have developed and accepted a more realistic understanding of your situation and environment.

Living abroad is exciting and has many challenges. It questions our habits, our ways of thinking, our certainty on many topics. Flexibility and kindness are needed to face these questions.

Are you feeling isolated?

Counselling can help. Few sessions will offer you a safe space to be yourself without pressure to adjust and to receive personalized support to develop your inner strategies and a stronger sense of self.