The two sides of empathy

Empathy is defined as our capacity to merge with someone at different levels : somatically, emotionally and cognitively. We can feel joy, pain or the suffering of others, etc. Scientific researches show us that empathy for pain and physical pain share some common neural network.

Empathy is a powerful aspect of human lives. Empathy helps us to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes and / or to develop compassion and engage into kindness behaviours. This is what we call empathic concern.

Empathic concern allows us to focus on others.

However, sometimes we can experience a certain amount of discomfort and psychological distress when we empathize with someone’s experience of pain and suffering. If this is repeated and constant, we can experience empathic distress : empathy becomes a burden when we witness the persistent suffering of others.

For example, in a work place, empathic distress can happen to health, social and mental health workers, to teachers, humanitarian workers, human ressources, caregivers... Not taking care of it leads to empathic fatigue, and burn out.

Clinical supervision (in group or individual) and psychological support can prevent the burden.

In our daily life, empathic distress can happen to all of us. As an example, we may feel affected by unresolved suffering events we watch repeatedly on the news. It leads to a certain amount of sadness and distress and can lead to a mixed feeling of guilt, anger or despair.

Then you know : guilt, sadness and anger don’t feel good. We may engage into both aversive and self-focused behaviors.

Learning how to preserve your emotional limits is important in order to maintain your emotional availability to others but also to yourself.

Preserving your emotional limits is not selfish, it’s a self-care practice. Without self-care, our health and mental health are impacted.

Acknowledging mindfully how you feel is a first step for empathic distress recovery. Self-compassion is a key practice. be Kind to yourself !

For sure, it is easier to practice it when you live or work in a safe environment :

• Define and set boundaries according to yourself (no need to be a superhero)

• Communicate your boundaries

• Accept you cannot make everyone happy

• Allow yourself to have some time during the day to do some self-care.

• And if all of this is difficult, reach support from an authorized mental health professional.

What do compassion and self-compassion mean ? The answer will be in one of my next posts !

Thank you !